Seduce Me
by Candiangirl534
Summary: Sanji Black works to acquire information by unconventional means. When the task of seducing Monkey D Luffy to infiltrate their gang "The Strawhats" proved impossible, he's forced to infiltrate by other means, or namely, other members. Yaoi.


Sanji stared down his next target in mute horror. The boy was a _barbarian_.

In under a minute the brunette had managed to consume three whole cooked chickens, a platter of pork cutlets, and a roast duck. Even putting the cringe-worthy lack of table manners aside, Monkey D Luffy was exactly like what was in the profile. Sanji had read that folder back to front, but it was another thing reading about the carnivorous appetite and actually _watching _the boys' inhuman eating habits. Sanji turned away from the sight and moved across the venues' dance area towards the adjacent balcony. Breathing in the cool night air wasn't nearly as appealing as his smokes, but it would have to do.

When he was assigned to Monkey D Luffys' case he knew it was the organisations last hope for infiltration. They had given him the time, place, a sexy new suit and any and all information they could on the infamous gang "_The Strawhats"_. Named after the straw hat the gang boss wore -which Sanji had thought would just make it easier for rival gangs to put a bullet through- the gang had managed to tear down many conspiracies in Alabasta, Skypeia, and a few other nameless villages around the grand line, all without seeming to even _mean_ to. There were even rumors that they're connected to the whitebeard gang and even the government. Sanji had been expecting lean mean hardened criminals, and what he got instead was a boy who could barely be called a man, eating everything his fingers touched with chopsticks up his nose.

And dear god, _Sanji had to seduce him._

Sanji groaned and felt across his breast for his cigarettes. He didn't take any out, just patted the bulge lightly for reassurance. He had been told that this event was the opportune moment to take down his target. But a fucking _wedding? _That was low. Plus it was the wedding of one of the gang members and some rich heiress. Usopp and Kaya. Apparently Usopp had been with the Strawhats from the time of formation and had deep ties with the captain. Sanji had posed as a potential investor for the new hospital she was funding. Another member from the organisation had weaseled in and told Kaya that the best way to garner favour was to invite him to the wedding. Everything had been planned to a tee, with only one thing deciding if the mission was going to be a success or not; Sanji being able to seduce a Monkey.

Sure, the organisation had put other agents on the case, specifically female agents. After numerous different forms of lovely ladies were shot down, it was decided that the gang leader had _unconventional_ tastes. It really pissed him off that he went from ladies' man Sanji who could get any woman under his thumb, to gay powerhouse Sanji who could turn even a straight man bent. Now Sanji wasn't going to deny the flattery that came with that title, but he was a ladies man goddammit! And even if sometimes he dabbled in a different persuasion it wasn't like he was going to find something he couldn't find in a lovely lady. Plus Monkey D Luffy was _barely_ considered a man.

_Yeah,_ Sanji thought bitterly, _barely a man with one of the strongest gangs in the grand line._

He rested his hand on the cool marble railings and took deep breaths.

It would be fine. He'd been watching the man all night, and from what he could deduce the boy was way too trusting. He'd just play to his child side. Joke around; maybe mention he was a cook. If that didn't get Luffy eating out of the palm of his hand, then maybe just giving him more food would.

It did little to reassure Sanji, but just as well he took one last look at the starry night and turned to complete his mission.

Or at least he would've if he hadn't turned right into a stupid looking face with equally stupid green hair.

The cook felt his nose connect solidly with the other mans', and bounced back against the railing. For a moment it seemed as though Sanji might go right over the edge to face a drop no mortal man could survive. The other man seemed to sense this and grabbed at the nearest thing he could reach. His hand clamped down around Sanjis' brand new expensive suit and pulled, wrinkling the fabric and sending Sanji barreling right into the man and onto the cool stone floor.

When Sanji regained his senses he tensed and his face went red with anger. This idiot of a man tried to kill him, but settled instead for ruining a perfectly good suit. A suit he would need for his job, seeing as he would need every variable working for him. His anger rose when he realised the compromising position he was now in with the green haired imbecile. It would make his job twenty times harder if he was labelled as some sort of slut who goes with any man who bats an eye at him. He had to move _now._

The other man completely ignored Sanjis' boiling rage, and only when he felt Sanji start to struggle did he act. The green haired bastard wrapped his arms around the other man and held him to his body, caging him. Sanjis' struggling stopped when the man arched his head and breathed,

"Don't move."

What? A man he doesn't know has pulled him flush against his body and whispering to him not to move? Panic invaded Sanjis' senses as he desperately started flailing against the strong muscles of the man holding him. The other man grunted and shifted his weight in order to roll completely and pin the startled seductor to the ground, immobilising his legs. Sanjis' panic started to well up in his throat when he felt his only way to defend himself taken away from him. All reason left him as he continued to fight the bigger man. Said man was continuing to scream at him to stop moving which Sanji ignored. Stop fighting? Like hell.

After a few more seconds of mindless panic Sanjis' leg finally broke free and kneed upward at whatever he found first. He watched in grim satisfaction as the green headed man's face turned white and took on an anguished look. As the man reached down to cup his throbbing scrotum the cook elbowed up and hit the man across his stupid face, sending him flying right off of Sanjis' body thank you very much.

The victory wasn't nearly as satisfying seeing as it held the heartbreaking sound of designer fabric being torn.

Sanjis' anger came back in full force. Not only had this man almost killed him and molested him, he had somehow managed to _rip_ a gorgeous suit that was fucking _tailor made_ for Sanji. Murder certainly wasn't his to do list tonight but he could adjust. This asshole would die.

Turning to face the monster, he tapped his shoe on the ground, preparing to lay down the law. The other man was using the railing for support as he curled in on himself, wheezing in pain.

It was then that Sanji recognised him. Roronoa Zoro, right hand man to Monkey D Luffy. Swordsman. Bloodthirsty. Scars mapping every inch of his skin save for his back. Truly the scariest member of the gang and the only one who looked like he belonged in a gang. He strikes down his enemies without mercy or hesitation in order to achieve his goal. Was basically cut in half and still survived._ Demon_.

And Sanji had just kicked him in the balls.

Fuck.

Sanji decided to screw any motivation he'd had for giving up smoking, his job was too stressful for luxuries. He observed the swordsman as he lit up. After a minute of silence the cook started to feel for the guy. He was in obvious manly pain and even the person who caused it could feel dome empathy. Were those tears? Aw man, that sucks. Maybe if he hadn't tried to kill him, molested him, and ruined his suit he'd go over there and help the poor bastard.

Roronoa Zoro raised his head to glare at the blonde. Sanji was taken aback to see that when he'd elbowed him he'd somehow split the guys lip. Not only that, but the suit he was wearing seemed to be a tad destroyed as well. Sanji flinched when he realised what had happened, but kept silent to protect his pride. The man used to have a very elegant and obviously expensive all black suit that matched the other groomsmen, save for the green tie which matched his hair. He would be looking quite dashing if the suit hadn't been torn across the neckline down to his chest. That and that he was carrying three swords.

"You fucker." Zoro gasped.

Sanji took another drag of his smoke before replying coolly, "Wouldn't have happened if you could just watch where you're going."

Zoros' face changed from pale to red in seconds at the mention of his navigational skills. Interesting.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole. I knew exactly where I was going."

Sanji maintained his demeanour of suave as the swordsman started towards him. Only when he was a meter away did he react. The cook simply took a step back as if he were intimated by the ridiculous look of murder on the swordsman's face, then quickly struck out with the same foot, hoping to make his face bleed a bit more. The other man quickly saw through his attack and drew his sheathed sword to block it. They started exchanging blows immediately. This brawl was a bit more even than the last, and Sanji eventually forced the swordsman to unsheathe, and use all three of his swords. Sanji giggled at the sight. The moron had a sword in his _mouth. _He retreated a bit just so he could laugh more openly at unbelievable sight.

Zoros' face flushed again. "What's so funny, asshole?"

The fact that the words had been clear as day through the shaft of a sword made Sanji torn between being impressed and laughing harder. He chose the latter. His booming laughter echoed off the walls and Sanji had to clench his side in stomach cramps. What an idiot.

Zoro struck out at the cook again, this time throwing everything he had at the blond. They fighting escalated, each one refusing to bow out. The fighting seemed to last hours and by the time exhaustion had taken them the party was nearing to a close. Panting heavily, they both forced themselves to keep standing but were too drained to fight anymore. They simply glared at the other from across the balcony. Sanji broke the silence in the most charming and gentlemanly way possible.

"Idiot"

"Asshole"

"You ruined my suit."

"You ruined mine too jackass!"

"You ruined mine first!"

"You were going to fall to your death! I'm so fucking sorry I saved you"

"YOU WERE THE REASON I WAS ABOUT TO FALL! MY SUIT IS COMPLETELY DISTROYED!"

"WELL I'M SORRY MS PRISS BUT I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING MOVE BECAUSE YOUR BUTTON WAS CAUGHT IN ONE OF MY SUITS THREADS."

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE ALL CREEPY ABOUT IT!"

Before Zoro could reply, a couple walked out onto the balcony hand in hand. It was only the fact that the woman had a white dress on that stopped the two men from continuing their duel.

The bride was dazzling with a jewel encrusted gown and tiara that seemed to have a gold glow to it. The entire party had gold lights that played magic with the designers work in making her the absolute center of attention. She walked like a queen on coronation and had her arm interlocked with a long nosed man in a white suit and an expression of absolute terror on his face. It seemed that seeing one of his groomsmen in tatters and bleeding may have put him out a bit.

"Zoro!" It was the grooms cry that made Sanji realise what he'd done.

He had completely disregarded his mission to fight Monkey D Luffys' _second in command,_ ruined a poor guys wedding by beating on his friend and ruining his suit, and probably just made himself an enemy to the entire gang. Fuck.

Sanji's face paled at the realisation and he quickly lost the fight in him. He couldn't fail. He was the organisations last hope. He _can't_ fail.

The swordsman raised his eyebrow at Sanjis' change in demeanor and lowered his sword to face his friend.

"Hey, Usopp. Kaya. How's the party?"

Usopp sputtered while Kaya was simply amused by the entire situation.

"Usopp," Kaya whispered, a hand covering her smile, "I think we should leave them alone."

Usopp looked at his new wife like her old illness had gone to her head. He then glanced back and seemed to take in the scene. Two men with their clothes in tatters, faces red, panting, staring each other down.

"Kaya!" Usopp blushed "That doesn't explain the blood!"

Kaya raised an eyebrow. "It's Zoro we're talking about."

Sanji had had enough. Even the _insinuation_ that he would ever so anything sexual to that barbarian by such a lovely angel was insulting. He smoothed his ripped tie, got down on one knee before the goddess and took her hand.

"My lady, I would never dream of anyone else if I were in a room with you." He cooed before taking the hand and gently kissing it.

"Oh my." Kaya responded, blushing hard. "How flattering."

Usopp felt the need to grip Kaya's other arm a little tighter.

"Zoro," He called out, "who is this guy?"

His friend just shrugged.

Kaya giggled before calling attention to herself.

"This," she waved at the man bowed before her, "is Sanji."

* * *

Sanji. The name seemed to burn Zoro. Fuck. This was the big time investor they needed for that new hospital. Sanji Black. Also the man Usopp had informed the gang to be extra polite to because they needed him. Mr. Sanji Black. The man who'd just evenly matched him in fighting. Fighting over the way he had destroyed his expressive suit and pinned him to the floor. Fuck.

The fighting itself had been _spectacular._ Zoro couldn't help his glee at finding someone who could match him. Someone nice and hot-headed as well, to make things easy. He couldn't deny haw elated he was to be sparring with someone where he didn't have to hold back. Even after they were both shot, he couldn't wait until round 2.

Then the prissy blond had to go ahead and become Mr. Bigshot Sanji Black. The one investor they need backing them to make Kayas' dream a reality. Usopp would do anything to make sure she achieves her dream, and here Zoro had just gone ahead and decided to fight it. Oh god, Zoro had metaphorically gone against Usopp and Kaya.

Immediately he sheathed his sword and took on a non-threatening stance. It would be fine. This Sanji guy had seemed nervous or something when Kaya had come in. Maybe he really wanted to make a good impression on her. Maybe he thought they had other investors they could turn to. Yeah, it'd be fine. Still, it was a good idea to smooth things over with the guy. The fight had been good, but not good enough to risk Kayas' dream.

"So," Kaya said as the investor finally raised himself from her feet, "why don't you come with us to the after party, Sanji?"

_Good job Kaya. Thanks for making my job easy_, Zoro thought. All he needed to do now was to get the blond shit faced.

The blond seemed to take a while to consider this.

"It's just a bar on Sunny Street. Not very far." Kaya added. "It's just for close friends but you two seem close enough already."

Zoro internally flinched. Ouch. Thanks Kaya for giving him a reason to decline.

To Zoro's utter surprise, the blond just seemed to gesture to his half naked self.

Kaya laughed, "That's alright. You can just borrow some clothes. I'm sure you'd still look handsome even in rags."

Zoro watched as Usopp had to reign in his jealousy. You'd think he'd feel secure after he just married the girl. The atmosphere around the group lifted as Zoro steeled his resolve. He would make the idiot blond invest in Kaya even if he had to break out the expensive booze. If that's how he would spend the rest of his night then dammit, Kaya was getting her hospital. Even if he had to become _friends_ with the asshole.

* * *

So this is my first one piece fic and of course its my otp 'cause why the hell not. Has not been beta'd so when you find a grammar mistake (which you will because I suck dicks) please tell me. I have no plan for this fic and have decided to go where ever the plot takes me. Please dont throw tomatoes at me. Okay, I know how it ends its the _getting there_ that I have trouble with. Dear god the pronouns in this chapter were killing me. Please review.


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